Cheers, To A Positive Life!

 

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It has been long overdue since I’ve taken the time to write. I’ve been sulking in the shadows for too long, not realizing that not everything is so serious. Not everything needs careful analysis, and well, I have the tendency to be so negative. I forget to be lighthearted, to live in the moment, and live for the day. And so, on a positive note, it’s today and today, I will write.

“Life is short, too short to be taken too seriously. ” A 21 year-old has just taught me that. I find it amusing that I could attract a 21 year old, being that I am 30 years lived, nearly 10 years older than he. But either way, I’ll take the compliment.  I forgot what it was like to be so fresh, in thought, in life, in experience, in love. I don’t think his heart has ever been broken and he loves so willingly, unapologetically, and is unafraid. We should all love this way no matter how broken or beaten we may be.

Of course, I am not pursuing this, he is not my person, but I do find it so sweet to be courted by a very young boy, who walks me to my car, waits for me to cross the street, offers me a coat when I am cold, showers me with compliments, listens to every word I say, and buys me little things every once in a while. It’s sweet. Makes me feel like royalty and I very much like the feeling. hahah Guess, this boy came to my life to remind me of my worth. I am worth being treated lovingly, sweetly and gently. And I have never been treated this way. I have always just been a prize to be conquered or too naive to have fallen for someone who does not love me in return. I’ve been played like a game. But If I am treated like royalty, I’d reciprocate. Dare I say, I know now to wait for this, my prince, and king and no less.

I yearn for this- for this love my heart has been aching for all my life and I still have not found. But no more of this talk, I want to be happy. I want to be more positive and have a healthier outlook on life. I want to laugh, I want to dance, and sing, and joke, and not give a care in the world. I want to take midnight trips, and watch many sunsets, I want to sleep on the ocean and see some snow, go on day trip adventures to the desert and mountains and So, I will make more of an effort to go out with those who seek my company, say yes to life, rekindle my friendships and not take life too seriously. It’s time to say yes to a social life.

 

***Also, side note. I’ve been meaning to leave the social media world (for plenty of reasons of which I will share later) and hope to have more of a presence here instead. So, hope to be seeing you all more often.

 

All my best and as always, with love-

 

bluebird

 

 

9.20.19

Self-Potrait, Practicing

I’m up before the sunrise. It’s calm and quiet and I can hear the symphony of crickets outside my window. Why don’t I do this more often?

The date is 9.20.19.  I have a full day today but I wanted to sneak in some meditation time before the storm. I intend to seize today and somehow squeeze in a workout before work, a 20 minute practice with my guitar, some vocal  exercises and singing on my commute to work, a work shift at the Art Museum, and lastly extend my love to my friends which I have not seen in a while and miss, in the evening. Maybe hopefully sing? If the opportunity arises. I’m awaiting my next stage, but I have work to do. I have confidence to learn, and practice to achieve. But easy does it, and patience is key. My stage will come, I can feel it.

Life is a balance between the quiet meditation of your person and inner self, and the gift of sharing my self with those I love. I want to be more loving, more giving, but in turn I need to love myself to be able to give those I love the most of me. So, this to me is an act of self-love. And I have every  intention to spill my heart to those deserving of its honey.

Ps. Today my new guitar arrives! Finally, my very own Cordoba guitar.

 

with love and admiration. Always and truly yours,

 

bluebird

Journal Entry 3.31

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I’ve lost count of the date or time. As of now, there is no time only the present and I am sulking in the sun, listening to the crashing sounds of the waves, the distant laughter of children, and the great Billie Holiday playing in the background. It is quintessentially an afternoon of leisure and I am succumbing to it entirely. Open arms, head high up to the clouds, so willing-  fully surrendered, and it is incredibly freeing.  I am free and I don’t give a rats ass what anyone thinks or has to say. I am me and may I always remember this fierce voice in me ah!- because she is so full of life and wonder and excitement, so full of adventure! and she will never again surrender herself to the mundane and pointless thoughts of others. I am me- and I am starting to really like her. Yeah, she’s pretty cool- I approve and that my dear loves, is the first signs of self love!

 

 

 

Muah!

 

yours affectionately,

 

bluebird

 

 

 

California Poppy Fields

 

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Life should always be an adventure… no matter the means, your state of mind, the condition you might be in, or the limitations we might have. No excuses, just enjoy life as best you can.

As long as we have life, we are in the luxury of living it to the fullest. I am not always this enthusiastic, but it is my hope and aspiration to be.

This day to me was luxury at its finest. I sang, I danced, I walked, I laughed, and I felt so incredibly wild and free.

I could get used to this living thing.

 

With love, my babes-

 

your,

bluebird

 

 

 

Today I saw a red rose on the pavement…

 

Today I saw a red rose on the pavement.

 How did it get there? Why was it there? What love was rejected?

I don’t know why I stoped to look at it or why it impacted me. Was it because I thought that such a beautiful thing as a rose belongs in a glass case?

and then I turn to myself, and think of myself as that rose on the pavement. No one sees me, and I too have been abandoned on the pavement.

 I should have picked it up, and I should have put it in a glass, pressed it in a book- but I didn’t.

Instead I went on my way to sing, “Como la Flor” on my way to work.

and I didn’t consider it until now, that perhaps we accept the love we think we deserve.

The next rose I see, abandoned on the floor, I’ll make sure to pick it up and give it a proper home. just like my love deserves to be.

sincerely yours,

bluebird

I couldn’t wait to write all day…

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I couldn’t wait to write all day. All it takes is 15 min to detox or vent. To cleanse the pallete of the mind from utter chaos of mesh to a crystal clear zen.

It is like medicine some say, and for me it has been my survival mechanism. Every time shit gets down, I turn to the pen. But I am not surviving anymore, I am enjoying life and even then I turn to it. Could it be my hand was meant to do some writing? jaja

It’s my dream world, my escape, and sometimes my world is more beautiful than the one I see daily.

really, it is. I wish I could take you there one day. It’s my Neverland, if you may.

One day.

 

stay sweet,  lovelies.

yours truly,

 

bonnie bluebird