9.20.19

Self-Potrait, Practicing

I’m up before the sunrise. It’s calm and quiet and I can hear the symphony of crickets outside my window. Why don’t I do this more often?

The date is 9.20.19.  I have a full day today but I wanted to sneak in some meditation time before the storm. I intend to seize today and somehow squeeze in a workout before work, a 20 minute practice with my guitar, some vocal  exercises and singing on my commute to work, a work shift at the Art Museum, and lastly extend my love to my friends which I have not seen in a while and miss, in the evening. Maybe hopefully sing? If the opportunity arises. I’m awaiting my next stage, but I have work to do. I have confidence to learn, and practice to achieve. But easy does it, and patience is key. My stage will come, I can feel it.

Life is a balance between the quiet meditation of your person and inner self, and the gift of sharing my self with those I love. I want to be more loving, more giving, but in turn I need to love myself to be able to give those I love the most of me. So, this to me is an act of self-love. And I have every  intention to spill my heart to those deserving of its honey.

Ps. Today my new guitar arrives! Finally, my very own Cordoba guitar.

 

with love and admiration. Always and truly yours,

 

bluebird

Journal Entry 3.31

 

I’ve lost count of the date or time. As of now, there is no time only the present and I am sulking in the sun, listening to the crashing sounds of the waves, the distant laughter of children, and the great Billie Holiday playing in the background. It is quintessentially an afternoon of leisure and I am succumbing to it entirely. Open arms, head high up to the clouds, so willing-  fully surrendered, and it is incredibly freeing.  I am free and I don’t give a rats ass what anyone thinks or has to say. I am me and may I always remember this fierce voice in me ah!- because she is so full of life and wonder and excitement, so full of adventure! and she will never again surrender herself to the mundane and pointless thoughts of others. I am me- and I am starting to really like her. Yeah, she’s pretty cool- I approve and that my dear loves, is the first signs of self love!

 

 

 

Muah!

 

yours affectionately,

 

bluebird

 

 

 

Today I saw a red rose on the pavement…

 

Today I saw a red rose on the pavement.

 How did it get there? Why was it there? What love was rejected?

I don’t know why I stoped to look at it or why it impacted me. Was it because I thought that such a beautiful thing as a rose belongs in a glass case?

and then I turn to myself, and think of myself as that rose on the pavement. No one sees me, and I too have been abandoned on the pavement.

 I should have picked it up, and I should have put it in a glass, pressed it in a book- but I didn’t.

Instead I went on my way to sing, “Como la Flor” on my way to work.

and I didn’t consider it until now, that perhaps we accept the love we think we deserve.

The next rose I see, abandoned on the floor, I’ll make sure to pick it up and give it a proper home. just like my love deserves to be.

sincerely yours,

bluebird